Hi Dee,
I'm not sure if I can help you much, this will be my 3rd C the first was an emergency so I had no mental preperation and it was a shock and it took me a long time to understand exactly what happend.
With my second I had planned a "trial labour" but baby was breach at 39wks so I had another C although I was alot more prepared and relaxed, I think I just realised there was nothing I could do so I had to concentrate on the positives. I guess when you have the time to prepare you also have the time to concider the "what if's" so your anxiety builds and I was a little nervious I have to admit but the excitment of seeing my little baby was helping me through.
This time around I struggled with the choices or lack their of in the begining, but some how as the weeks have gotten closer I've felt really calm and excepted what's to come, I can't explain it, I guess it's just hormones.